My work schedule has me cramming in family time at odd hours, so for now, my blog posts will be sporadic. I am doing what I can to stay afloat, but more than anything I am doing what I need to stay sane.
The last few days were hectic, with Halloween, parties, Costume contests, DJ shows and the like. Hubby and I have developed this revolving schedule that I am really starting to enjoy. On Halloween, we gathered as a unit to the Mother in law's town to go trick or treating with Mommy, Daddy, Ethan, Uncle Rob and Grandma. Ethan was Yoda, a home-made costume from mom, made from a brown blanket and some green fleece I had around. He looked like a total BOSS! He got lots of candy, that has since been devoured by all... Later that same night I baby sat for a friend so her and her hubby could get some time together. The next day was all about recovery for certain parties (myself NOT included) and prep for the big DJ show. The show itself was incredible, yet our new venue is large, we need to reach a much broader spectrum of people to have the turnout we want. We are going to keep trying provided the owner will let us.
Saturday I worked a double while hubby and our "adopted" son went to the Marine Corps ball. Ethan was at grandma's so when Mommy got home from work she had the WHOLE house to herself. Never have I felt such bliss. Well aggravation at my dirty house, then bliss after it was cleaned. I spent some much needed QT with an old friend. Sunday I got up early and went to church.
Church was absolutely amazing! I am still reeling from it! I cannot believe I do not go every week (which I really plan to change) It was just so wonderful to go, see some friends I love dearly and be in God's presence. I want to promise myself that I will go every week, but I am so scared that I can't keep even that. I will do my absolute best though!
The last few days I have been encountering quite a few former and active military members, they are informed by my coworkers that I was in the military and flag me down for a chat. So far I have been invited to the American Legion, Amvets, and received phone numbers from everyone if I am ever of need. I fully plan on going and making myself familiar with these organizations. Starting Wednesday night at the American Legion.
All this time spent with other service members has been making me think a lot about the paths in life, and the recent decisions I have made. One of which was telling my hubs to be a stay at home dad for a little while. I don't know why, but the thought came to me and it just feels right. Like it makes sense and was there all along type of thing. A few people have expressed concerns that my honey should not be barred into a "wife's" duty or some such shit. I just really feel it is a good decision and when I came home from work today to see my husband and my son sitting at a card table like it was an every day thing eating dinner and talking like 2 adults (as much as Ethan can talk), my resolve was hardened. Then to hear my husband tell me all the things he taught my son that day. How to put his toys away, put his dishes up, cook dinner (he stirred, added spices and put things away) how to wipe his hands and face after eating... My hubs does not have a ton to do at home, but I think he feels fulfilled being home with our son everyday, and because my husband and I were both in the Marines together we know better than anyone how teamwork goes. I know how to be a provider and my husband knows how to be a nurturer, we adapt. We do it well. I feel that he will grow tired of it after a while and find himself some kind of work if nothing falls down the pipeline by the time I get hired somewhere else. But I think the lessons he will learn by his own hands and by the light of his son's eyes will be more than worth whatever time he thinks he may have lost.
With all of this I can say that I feel peaceful, happy and sure. We are still fighting to get everything back together financially, but our home life is peaceful. How many people can say that in our position? How many people can say that at all? I can honestly say at this moment, I feel I have no regrets about my life so far. I work hard, and I have more to show for it every single day. I prove to myself on a regular basis that I can be pushed just a little bit further, that I have everything I need, and everything I want (except maybe a beautiful bouncing baby... that would be a nice addition, but there is time yet for that!)
God Bless you! and I truly hope that you have what you need today!