Welcome back folks!
Glad you could join us for another round! Today was uneventful, and the most exciting thing that happened was my son's 18 month check up. He is 34" tall, weighs in at 32lbs and mommy and daddy need to stop enabling Ethan's sign language and make him talk like everyone else does. That being said he is perfectly healthy and still fat; 97 percentile (I really like that word) for his height and 98 % for his weight. That means he is fat folks. It's ok, the doc said he will be a hoss, so no worries. Oh and he is clinically awesome. It's genetic not contagious so don't worry, your kids are safe!
Since my brain goes roughly 1.5 million miles an hour, I have concluded quite a few things today. Here is the first: Friends are the most valuable resource you will ever have. Whether you have 1 good one or 10 pretty good ones they are valuable. They know sides of you that you never knew existed and they are there for you no matter what. Their friendship, loyalty and honest words should never be squandered, unappreciated or stolen. Give just as much if not more to them than they give to you. These people have grown to know you over a period of time and they stand by your side no matter what, even though it might be better for their health to keep a distance. They give you exceptional advice and they do not judge you. They are the family you create when your family is low on members (if you are an only child) or when they are not being very family oriented (we have all been there, didn't get a T-shirt) In my household, we often hold our friends a teensy bit higher than family (much to our family's displeasure, sorry, we pick awesome friends). We also are stupidly loyal to our friends, and sadly, we expect our friends to hold the same dying loyalty to us with very poor results (we really shouldn't tease outsiders a.k.a friends of friends). They are still awesome though. They put up with our crazy, listen to us when we are down, and let the music blast when the good times roll. I love my family to the ends of this Earth, but my friends are the family I would have chosen if I could.
The second thing that dawned on me today; this one requires a tiny bit of background info ... I believe that we come to this world to learn things. What we don't learn the lesson is revamped and recycled back to us in a timely fashion. This cycle will repeat until the lesson is sufficiently mastered. ... My hubby and I are on a mission. We keep reliving the same financial issues and we don't understand what we are doing wrong. We have attempted budget after budget, I've worked, he's worked, sometimes he has 2 jobs, sometimes I have 2 jobs, we scrimp and save, we make no luxury purchases etc. Even though we are getting smarter about how to operate the money, we still end up back where we are right now. So because I cannot have a real time conversation with my teacher (God) I don't really know what I am supposed to be learning. Which means, I get to take another guess!
Maybe we are bad at handling money (this thought still hurts my pride...) I am wondering if it is what we are doing to acquire money that may be the issue. My husband and I are what psychologists call "co-dependent" which means that we are like twins separated from the womb, reunited decades later. So we function best when we spend LONG periods of time in each other's presence. Most people find it annoying to be around a loved one for more than a few hours, to us, we are just getting started. Thinking about how, regardless of what is happening right now, we are really enjoying spending time together got me thinking about freelance.
Freelance is something I never really considered before last week, and something I think hubby and I should turn to first, not as a filler. Some things just honest to God never occur to me. Maybe it was the years of "Do you ever shut up?!" or "WHAT did you just say?" Ahhh, gotta love family!
I love writing. I am good at it. I have a natural knack for spotting spelling and grammar errors within a written work, hence the awesome proof-reading I have done for my friends (and will gladly do again) and all those weird typos in books I've spotted. I have hundreds of ideas in my mind all the time and I am always wondering why someone never writes about them! I have come to find that my perspective is unique because I believe in being a conservative, a feminist and a traditional - God's honest 1950's housewife all rolled into one. I also feel that war and bloodshed, although tragic, serve a purpose, and maybe Niccolo Machiavelli wasn't so crazy after all....
Aside from writing out my crazy thoughts, there is plenty of other stuff I can do. Hubby and I have Life ADD (totally contagious, unlike our awesomeness) We bounce all over the place, and make adult decisions then we decide we would like to make other adult decisions counter to the decisions we just made. (Not like Ethan, he was probably the best decision after we decided to get married!) We go to school, we quit school because it's damn expensive! Then we find these awesome jobs, and they turn out to be not so awesome 6 months in. Then we decide we need a reliable, sturdy vehicle, then we realize we didn't have reliable sturdy jobs. Crap. Oh, wait, going back to stuff I can do. Well, I like knowledge. Like a lot. People on facebook have come to realize I capture (to be released) bugs and study them, Google my butt off, and voila! I now know what an Imperial Moth Caterpillar is! Well because I like to know stuff, I am really good at research. And - follow me here, it confuses even me - because I can do research I can teach myself things, or maybe I taught myself to do research because I like to know things and I am good at stuff.... Anyway, I knit.
In addition to knitting I also know how to sew (20 years actually) and I can draw, paint, bind books, repair small machines, small household electrical wiring and other repairs, clean, organize, self-motivate and OH! I can teach other people how to do it too. I would have a vlog, but still fighting my insecurities here. I should use what I have to make money, not make money for something I should have.
I can do a great many things, I can create a great and varied world for myself, and those around me. Some days I feel so old. Yet, today... Today I believe myself to be exactly as young as I am. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. God afforded me an opportunity to be a wife and mother at a young age and I am so incredibly grateful for that. My husband and my son bring such massive amounts of joy to my heart it makes me want to cry. I think I have been trying to fit myself in a box for so long, I forgot what it was like to be unfettered. I must be a dreamer, because I believe that there is nothing in this world that is truly impossible. I am an eternal optimist and although I feel the chaos tugging at my heels, I am grounded in the clouds.
Goodnight fair readers! May God reign blessings upon you!
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