Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Day 25: The Crux of the Matter

     Today, did not go as planned. The government shutdown has ceased with the emergency assistance so I was unable to receive any help. Which actually made me feel a lot better. I can handle no water for a few more days, or however many days it takes to come up with the money, as long as I am on my own steam. Since I don't come off training until Saturday, we will have no water until at least Monday. I also think my husband may have possibly given my son soda. Which is a major crime against the Kingdom of Reid. He is going to pay dearly if that is what happened. He does have an interview on Monday, so perhaps a survivable punishment.

     The car died twice on the way to work, as in I was going down the road at 40 MPH and all of a sudden it is reading 0 RPMs, no power steering, no gas, dead. Twice, it did that. Then again on the way home. Twice. It scared me so bad that I am no longer driving the car. It has to go into the shop eventually, so it may as well be this weekend. Hopefully. Fingers crossed and prayers all around. And that means my amazing friends will be driving me into work. Thank the good Lord I have such a network of love here!

     There is a certain squeamishness around the whole no money thing. There is a belief that one who lacks a financial repertoire is poor. I am not poor, I lack funds. There is a difference. Look at the government. Ok, bad example, look at a college student. An entrepreneur. What makes a person poor is believing that there is never enough to go around. That everything is finite, non-renewable resources, and that they have to work for nothing, so for nothing they will work.

    A person who is wealthy manages their wares with care, they understand the immediate value of something, pull it from the dirt and polish it to a high shine. They do not waste time on investments with low return. They are intimately aware with their own value, and the value of their own hands. Work is not something to complain about, it is a future to build.

    I am young, I battled with a strong bout of naiveté most of my life. There is only one cure for that, knowledge, wisdom and experience, and that is a hopeful remission at best. When I took my ASVAB prior to entering the Marine Corps I scored exceptionally high on my patterns portion of the test. That means that I can figure out patterns, fast, and accurately, and sometimes I see a pattern from something that might actually be random. What I have found in the patterns of my life is that events are constantly repeating (not new information thanks, Herodotus). That the events follow a specific sequence unless something is done to alter them. Water is going to continue to flow in one determined path until it meets a resistance, then it simply flows around it, it forges a new path, undetermined altogether.

    Things have begun to meet resistance in my life on all sides. All of my new solutions to these problems will forge a new path for my life. I have to continue to believe that there is a point to all of this, it makes sense to God, and within the tapestry of the universe and within my immediate community. I am building upon foundations laid down long before I ever thought to exist. I am much greater than the sum of my parts, and as this change is beginning to unfold before my feet, it shakes the ground a forces me to move.

     My frustration at life is a lack of awareness. Isn't that always the way? I simply do not know what is going to happen, today, tomorrow... Ever. I am not afforded the great crystal ball. If only I could find a treasure map to life, with the major points highlighted.... Then again, what would I lose in simply looking for the treasure?

    Maybe that is why I am good at patterns, I need to know. I need to know as much as humanly possible about as much as I can all the time. Also, may be why I hate surprises. That's enough for now! Tomorrow then! Good Night all! God bless you :)

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