The long delay has been due to a lack of time recently. My new job had me working 6 days a week, then there is house work, child rearing, and water finding. I spoke to the water company today and instead of the 248 something they needed last week, they now need 310. They closed my account and did not send me a notice, they did not forewarn me, they did not attempt to call. I have been working my tail off to get together the money, and I had enough before I called them. I am beyond livid at the moment.
Working full time again has opened up some previous issues for me, first of all I have no time for myself, hence the no blog writing. Second I am tired all the time, and third, I feel like I am not making what I am worth and since I make a living off tips, it is a blow to the ego to get a low one from people who either don't know how to tip (It's 15% for a good job and 20% for a great one) or people who don't have enough left over to tip. I almost never go out and eat because I don't have the money to tip well. More people should do the same. I enjoy working, I like the atmosphere, I like having something to do, and I like making money. I hate being away from my home. I have been doing the stay at home thing for a long time, I have a system, but working also helps me appreciate the things I did not do well when I was home.
Sadly I feel that I am no closer to my goal of getting us out of this mess then when I started blogging about it 36 days ago. I know consciously that is not true. I have gas in my car, my electric is still on and I have $200 toward the water. I have steady income right now, I can get by a little longer. I still need a lot of help, and I have broken down and started asking for it. I will go to CUOC tomorrow and get more. I need this ship turned around yesterday.
I did get to talk with 2 Vietnam veterans today. Nothing makes me more proud than to talk openly and honestly to other veterans. Especially Vietnam vets. They are some of the most understanding people I have come across. They were ostracized when they made it back home, there was no PTSD diagnosis, they fought to get back to work and to live a normal life, and they know better than anyone how to reach out to people. That is what they did to me today. One of my coworkers told them I was in the Corps and we talked. What is nice is I will be seeing them again, and even better, I will be taking their advice to heart and doing exactly what they told me to.
Yesterday I had to fill up all of our water containers before work, and attempt to create some semblance of normalcy around here. I am fighting being dehydrated during the day because I want to make sure my son has enough water, so I drink water at work, as much as I can. I broke down and spent $3 on a container of baby wipes because I just cannot keep up with washing mine right now. As much as I don't have I am still doing everything I can to give what I have. I do my best to be helpful at work, I do everything I can to help my friends with anything I can offer (cloth diapers, a shoulder, time spent, advice anything I have)
The amount of things I need is rapidly increasing and they will all have to wait. I need another pair of pants for work. Currently I have one pair that fit, and one pair that is too big, I would like to go to the thrift store and pick up 2 more pair, but that is later. The car is getting worse, breaking down on me just about every time I drive it. I really need new underwear. My 5 pairs just isn't going to last me, and my favorite and only other bra besides the one I am currently wearing just busted. The underwire is poking out and a repair would only be temporary. With my first paycheck I will have to buy nonslip shoes for work. I have already fallen twice and it hurts very badly, and it slows me down to have to walk slow. Time lost is money lost. None of this can be taken care of until the water is back on, my rent is paid and my car payment made. Once those things are taken care of I will have to reassess the value of the items I just listed and figure out which one next.
I am doing everything I can with what I have, and that is what matters. I am not sitting here whining about what I don't have, I am sitting here laying out my cards and figuring out how to play them best. That is all for today!
God bless you all!
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