Sunday, October 6, 2013

Day 15: Cache

      Have you ever wondered how things arrived? How the things you see got to be the way they are?
As I have said before, my brain is constantly going. It moves as constantly as the ocean. Trading ideas like currents, and washing away that which does not survive. I always love to know the origin of things. Fictional characters, hot dogs, steel mills, words etc. Today, I gained a small bit of knowledge toward the education system.
     I am a huge fan of I've watched every 'episode' in season 1 on Netflix. If you have never watched one, please do. They are incredibly enriching, and serve to generate ideas, which in turn create the world we live in.
    The TED I watched this evening was Ken Robinson: How schools kill creativity. That schools originated out of necessity to fill standards to operate in the new industrial world. That education systems push subjects that are most likely to lead a group to success. To get you a job. Toward the very end he talks about the choreographer to CATS and Phantom of the Opera, Gillian Lynne.
    As a child in the 1930's her parents were alerted to the fact that she may have a learning disorder. She could not sit still in class, and was a little disruptive. What we would consider today as ADD (which I am sorry if you disagree, I feel is a bunk diagnosis for parents who are not attune to their children's needs) Her mother took her to a specialist, and they talked. When they were finished the specialist said to Gillian that he needed to talk to her mother, he turned the radio on as he left the room and he told her mother to watch. As soon as she heard the music she was on her feet. The specialist said she has no learning disorder, she is a dancer. Enroll her in a dance school. She did, and now Gillian is who we know today.
         Fascinating, isn't it? That today we cram things into kids that are wholly unnecessary. Mr. Robinson believes that children are born creative and they are forced to grow out of it by our education systems. I'd have to say I agree. I have been creative as long as I can remember, and I was often left to my own devices to do so. I was homeschooled until I was 9, so by that time, creative outlets were my coping mechanisms. I had to have them to survive. Even with the exposure I had in school, and constantly hearing "You're weird" by just about everyone I ever met, still did nothing to dissuade me from what I was meant to be. People have told me that I am a right brained thinker (must be why I am attracted to lefties) Because I was afforded an opportunity to be left to myself (I often opted out of play time with my brothers and sisters, and when I didn't they used my ideas and amped them up with their own) I harbored and honed my creative nature. Now I can see the world tinted with nothing else.
       I do not jest when I say I do not believe in 'impossible' I really don't. I have lived too long in a world that does not work and gives me everything I need at the same time to think that there is such a thing as Not Possible.
     Which leads me to the power of positive thinking. I occasionally lament the fact that I am such a  severe optimist that I cannot even wallow in my own misery for very long. I cannot let my self succumb to thoughts of anguish because it just doesn't work for me. My thoughts automatically start to drift toward the benefits of even the height of destruction. The only down side to my brain is the anxiety that comes from thinking of all the what ifs. Which I learn to quell on a regular basis with "calm down, you're crazy and that's ok." No joke!
      On the other side of my positive thinking is the emotions and rare visions behind it. I have seen things in my head and they tend to manifest years and years later. It's odd. I can remember what I was thinking 10 years ago, but I cannot remember moments with people I care about from the same time. Some of the things I have manifested have been my marriage. When I was in college I remember dating an individual who was bipolar and schizophrenic (the tryst lasted about 4 weeks) I remember thinking at the time, "I always knew I'd end up with a crazy person" Yet there were moments of clarity where I knew what things in my life would be. When I met my husband I knew that we would have difficult years (and boy have we) but I also knew that on the other side of that would be marital perfection. At least to us. Although it feels like we are there now, we may still have obstacles to overcome in the future. One of the first weeks I knew my husband, we were playing pool at a bar in Yucca Valley. I caught a glimpse of him through the corner of my eye and for a moment, I saw him as an older man, and my heart stopped. 6 years later I am seeing that man form in front of my eyes every day, and crazier than that is I know someone who is be the older version of my husband, with full blessing from me, from looks to attitude.
      Other glimpses of my future have included being interviewed, giving speeches, homes in the country, homes in the city, conversations with people I have yet to meet, jobs I will do, things I encounter the list goes on. Some of these things shift, I believe that is due to the fact that I make different decisions. yet, the one thing that my visions have in common is happiness. Absolute bliss at my life. I know that there are great things for me to do, I really and truly believe that. My greatest desire is for someone to see their worth through my eyes, and for that vision to change their life. to change people, to make them realize it is all up to them, really.

Today's experiences have been filled with minor frustrations that have put me a teensy bit on edge. My son is still teething his last 2 teeth, and is whiny because of it. My son is perpetually happy, so for him to be grumpy, whiny and pitching tantrums is unlike him and drives me a bit crazy.  He threw things he had no business throwing, and wanted me to carry him, and when I obliged, he promptly wiggled to get down and then would whine for me to pick him back up. Nerve wracking to say the least. On top of that, hubby hyper extended his knee yesterday playing football with the boys at the birthday party and is know limping around the house and I have to help him with just about everything. He is milking it a tiny little bit, but having him say "Maggie, will you..." promptly followed by "ooooouuu" whilst grabbing his hurt leg, is a bit much. He watched way too much Tom and Jerry as a kid. He even cover's his eyes to watch me through the gap in his fingers while going "oooooohhhh.... oooooo the pain..." As I do something for him, without him having to ask.
There was also washing laundry with our menial water supply. It is still off but gives us a trickle. Good enough for me, still a pain in the ass. As the days trickle by, there are things to do mounting up, and I am beginning to feel as though I can't quite keep up. Nothing is insurmountable, but damn if it doesn't take a long time!

I've just realized, this blog is actually making me happier. It truly is. Every night, by the time I reach the end of my ramble, sermon, sagely jabbering, I've come to feel settled with peace. Which will in turn lay the path for me to be inundated with ideas in .... about 30 minutes. I bid you all good night, and God bless!

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